If you’re “caught” single on Valentines Day, God be with you, my child. Society has somehow made it a basic social requirement for single people to decide which group they belong to every February 14.
The first of which is the very unconcise “Woe Is Me, I’ll Never Find Love Even Though I Won’t Try Online Dating” group. You’ll know you’re near a member because “All By Myself” is blaring from the bluetooth speaker which is dangerously nestled in the bathtub corner (a real fire hazard, I might add). You’ll also likely find evidence of tears and Chinese takeout.
The ungrammaatical second group, “I Don’t Need No One” is filled with singles busy who troll mushy Facebook posts and tweet stuff like: “Valentines Day is for married people who wish they were single again.” They take the Selfie of the Century with some kind of ‘nobody can make me happier than me’ hashtag. No takeout for them, they’re living the high life at the most poppin’ joint in town. You can’t miss it - it’s very clearly documented in their IG stories.
Now look, the rules to observing Valentines Day are flexible. I’m definitely not here to regulate a holiday. However, I highly recommend that you stay far, far away from these aforementioned groups. No matter how cool the t-shirts, do not become a member. Here’s why: both of these groups are making Valentines Day about themselves (also, going back to that fire hazard thing). And that’s just wrong. We shouldn’t make any day about us. But especially Valentines Day - a day that, as society, we have chosen to make about love.
So here I am, proposing six ways for single women to celebrate & observe Valentines Day - ways that are productive to love: either loving yourself or loving others well. Some of these things I have done. Some, I will do. How about you?The Iconic Galentines Day Party
I may not have lived up to Leslie Knope’s standard, but I did throw an intimate little Galentines Day Dinner Party last year. I tried my hand at homemade Spicy Ramen. We feasted around the bar. Cleaned the kitchen (we’re not savages). Then we took a two hour political assessment over tea and dark chocolate. Spicy food, friends who clean your kitchen, extreme political banter. What more could a single gal want? Pro Tip: If you’re hosting, try to keep the conversation bright and not focused on the ‘withouts’ of life. Focus on the positives and find ways to affirm your friends throughout the evening.
Still working on the name as I think this could get confusing. Palentines Day is a twist Galentines Day, but instead of just inviting your gal pals, you also invite….boys! Why not? Your single guy friends like good food, too. And having your male friends there somehow makes the night seem more normal and perhaps lessens the emphasis on your singleness. If you’re looking for some co-ed fun, invite your pals to join you this Valentines Day.
I’m not saying to boycott Valentine’s Day, but I am saying to be at liberty to work. Don’t feel bad if you’re offered that extra shift at work - if you want to take it, take it! Maybe there’s a work or home project you’re really itching to get a head start on. You’re not a calloused being for wanting to work. For me personally, working on projects brings me much joy. My philosophy - whatever brings you peace and closer to your dreams, do that. Even on V-day. Side note: Don’t totally hermit out. Still send your BFF a sweet text and by all means, call your mother!
Some of you are in the financial position to offer your services pro bono. What a blessing - act on that! Ask one of your “Married With Kids” friends if they are a looking for childcare for Valentine’s Day dinner. Make sure it’s clear to them that the only payment you’ll receive is dessert. (Pro Tip: if you say “Nothing”, they’ll try to pay you and it’ll just get weird. Dessert. Always dessert.) I’ve done my fair share of Valentines Day babysitting. When I was younger, I loved the cash. When I got older, I loved seeing my friends come home relaxed and happy. Usually you get pizza out of it, too, so win-win.
Become Cupid Claus
Imagine Cupid with a little Santa hat on. That could be you this season. The idea is to plan your day around making others feel loved, seen, and valued. Pay it forward in the Starbucks line. Uber Eats lunch to coworker who is in a rough patch. Send texts with specific words of appreciation to different types of friends (not just your BFF but even your nail tech or sister-in-love). Easily and economically send sweet gifts through Amazon (making the gifts anonymous perhaps makes it more fun!). Spending your day serving others.. my friend, you will have no regrets.
No matter if you’re decidedly single or recently ghosted, take to heart this beautiful scripture:
Rejoice with those who rejoice.
Weep with those who weep.
This Valentines Day, as you scroll and see photos of chocolates, posts about “Look what this guy did!”, and yes, even engagement announcements, I encourage you to rejoice. Rejoice with those who have found love. Rejoice with those who are being celebrated. No matter your take on marriage and love, you are called to rejoice with the rejoicers. So hit the “heart” button, double tap, comment with heart eyes, and keep loving well.
This particular Valentines Day, I’ll be taking my new puppy (Ace the Goldendoodle) to her first birthday party.